非此即彼 fēi cǐ jí bǐ Either-or

Explanation

表示只有两种对立的可能性，非此即彼，没有中间状态或其他可能性。

Indicates only two opposing possibilities, either-or, without intermediate states or other possibilities.

Origin Story

很久以前，在一个偏僻的小村庄里，住着一位名叫阿美的姑娘。她性格倔强，凡事都喜欢黑白分明，非此即彼。村里来了个算命先生，他告诉阿美，她将来会有两个选择：嫁给一个富有的商人，过上锦衣玉食的生活；或者嫁给一个穷秀才，过上清贫但充满诗意的生活。阿美陷入了深深的纠结，她无法做出选择，因为她觉得这两个选择都无法同时满足她的需求，非此即彼，她只能选择一个。她反复权衡利弊，茶饭不思，寝食难安。最终，在一次偶然的机会下，她遇到一位老禅师。老禅师并没有直接帮她做选择，而是让她自己去思考，去感受，去体悟人生的真谛。在老禅师的点拨下，阿美逐渐意识到，人生的选择并非非此即彼，而是可以兼顾，可以平衡，可以创造出更多可能性。她不再执着于非此即彼的选择，而是开始用更加包容的心态去面对人生的挑战。最后，她选择了一条自己独有的道路，既有富商的财富，也有秀才的才情，创造了属于她自己幸福的人生。

hěn jiǔ yǐ qián, zài yīgè piānpì de xiǎo cūn zhuāng lǐ, zhù zhe yī wèi míng jiào ā méi de gū niang. tā xìnggé jué jiàng, fánshì dōu xǐhuan hēibái fēn míng, fēi cǐ jí bǐ. cūn lǐ lái le gè suàn mìng xiānsheng, tā gàosù ā méi, tā jiānglái huì yǒu liǎng gè xuǎnzé: jià gěi yīgè fùyǒu de shāng rén, guò shang jǐnyī yùshí de shēnghuó; huòzhě jià gěi yīgè qióng xiùcái, guò shang qīngpín dàn chōngmǎn shī yì de shēnghuó. ā méi xiàn rù le shēn shēn de jiéjié, tā wúfǎ zuò chū xuǎnzé, yīnwèi tā juéde zhè liǎng gè xuǎnzé dōu wúfǎ tóngshí mǎnzú tā de xūqiú, fēi cǐ jí bǐ, tā zhǐ néng xuǎnzé yīgè. tā fǎnfù quánhéng lìbì, cháfàn bù sī, qǐnshí nán'ān. zuìzhōng, zài yīcì ǒurán de jīhuì xià, tā yùdào yī wèi lǎo chán shī. lǎo chán shī bìng méiyǒu zhíjiē bāng tā zuò xuǎnzé, ér shì ràng tā zìjǐ qù sīkǎo, qù gǎnshòu, qù tǐwù rénshēng de zhēndì. zài lǎo chán shī de diǎobó xià, ā méi zhújiàn yìshí dào, rénshēng de xuǎnzé bìng fēi fēi cǐ jí bǐ, ér shì kěyǐ jiāngù, kěyǐ pínghéng, kěyǐ chuàngzào chū gèng duō kěnéng xìng. tā bù zài zhízhuó yú fēi cǐ jí bǐ de xuǎnzé, ér shì kāishǐ yòng gèngjiā bāoróng de xīntài qù miànduì rénshēng de tiǎozhàn. zuìhòu, tā xuǎnzé le yī tiáo zìjǐ dúyǒu de dàolù, jì yǒu fùshāng de cáifù, yě yǒu xiùcái de cáiqíng, chuàngzào le shǔyú tā zìjǐ xìngfú de rénshēng.

Long ago, in a remote village, lived a girl named Amei. She was stubborn and liked things to be black and white, either-or. A fortune teller came to the village and told Amei that she would have two choices in the future: marry a rich merchant and live a life of luxury; or marry a poor scholar and live a poor but poetic life. Amei was deeply troubled, she couldn't make a choice, because she felt that neither choice could satisfy her needs, either-or, she could only choose one. She repeatedly weighed the pros and cons, lost her appetite, and couldn't sleep well. Finally, by chance, she met an old Zen master. The old Zen master didn't directly help her make a choice, but let her think for herself, feel, and understand the essence of life. Under the guidance of the old Zen master, Amei gradually realized that life's choices are not either-or, but can be combined, balanced, and can create more possibilities. She no longer clung to the either-or choice, but began to face the challenges of life with a more inclusive attitude. In the end, she chose her own unique path, with both the wealth of a merchant and the talent of a scholar, creating a happy life of her own.

Usage

用于形容思维方式过于绝对化，缺乏灵活性和变通性。

yòng yú xíngróng sīwéi fāngshì guòyú juéduìhuà, quēfá línghuó xìng hé biàntōng xìng

Used to describe a way of thinking that is too absolute and lacks flexibility and adaptability.

Examples

• 这个问题是非此即彼的，没有中间地带。

  zhè ge wèntí shì fēi cǐ jí bǐ de, méiyǒu zhōngjiān dìdài

  This issue is either-or, there is no middle ground.

• 他的观点过于绝对化，是非此即彼的。

  tā de guāndiǎn guòyú juéduìhuà, shì fēi cǐ jí bǐ de

  His views are too absolute, it is either-or.

Related Idioms

• 非此即彼的

• 黑白分明

Opposite Idioms

• 多种多样

• 兼而有之