拒人千里 jù rén qiānlǐ keep people at arm's length

Explanation

形容对人态度冷淡，不愿与人交往。

To describe a person's cold and distant attitude; unwilling to associate with others.

Origin Story

战国时期，齐国有个名叫孟子的学者，他学识渊博，品德高尚，但却为人耿直，不善阿谀奉承。他曾多次劝谏齐宣王，但宣王听不进去，最终将他拒之门外。孟子并没有因此灰心，而是继续周游列国，传播他的儒家思想。他相信，即使暂时不被理解，总有一天会有人认可他的思想和价值观。后来，他到了梁国，梁惠王也曾想请他做官，但孟子因梁惠王的统治不符合他的理想，不愿为其效力，最终离开了梁国。孟子的故事说明，即便拥有再高的学识和才华，如果缺乏与人交往的能力，也会被世人所排斥。为人处世要善于与人沟通，才能取得成功。

zhànguó shíqí, qí guó yǒu gè míng jiào mèngzǐ de xué zhě, tā xuéshí yuānbó, pǐndé gāoshàng, dàn què wéirén gěngzhí, bù shàn āyū fèngchéng. tā céng duō cì quànjiàn qí xuān wáng, dàn xuān wáng tīng bù jìn qù, zuìzhōng jiāng tā jù zhī ménwài. mèngzǐ bìng méiyǒu yīncǐ huīxīn, ér shì jìxù zhōuyóu lièguó, chuánbō tā de rújiā sīxiǎng. tā xiāngxìn, jíshǐ zánshí bù bèi lǐjiě, zǒng yǒuyītiān huì yǒurén rènkě tā de sīxiǎng hé jiàzhíguān. hòulái, tā dàole liáng guó, liáng huì wáng yě céng xiǎng qǐng tā zuò guān, dàn mèngzǐ yīn liáng huì wáng de tǒngzhì bù fúhé tā de lǐxiǎng, bù yuàn wèi qí xiàolì, zuìzhōng líkāi le liáng guó. mèngzǐ de gùshì shuōmíng, jíbiàn yǒngyǒu zài gāo de xuéshí hé cáihuá, rúguǒ quēfá yǔ rén jiāowǎng de nénglì, yě huì bèi shìrén suǒ páichì. wéirén chǔshì yào shàn yú yǔ rén gōutōng, cáinéng qǔdé chénggōng.

During the Warring States period, there was a scholar named Mencius in the state of Qi. He was erudite and morally upright, but he was also outspoken and not good at flattery. He had repeatedly advised King Xuan of Qi, but the king did not listen and eventually dismissed him. Mencius did not give up, but continued to travel through the various states, spreading his Confucian ideas. He believed that, even if he was not understood for a time, one day his ideas and values would be recognized. Later, he went to Liang, where King Hui wanted to make him an official. However, Mencius refused because King Hui's rule did not meet his ideals, and he eventually left Liang. Mencius' story shows that even those with great knowledge and talent can be rejected by society if they lack the ability to interact with people. To succeed in life, one must be adept at communicating with others.

Usage

多用于形容人态度冷漠，不愿与人亲近。

duō yòng yú xióngróng rén tàidu lěngmò, bù yuàn yǔ rén qīnjìn

Mostly used to describe a person's cold and distant attitude, unwilling to get close to others.

Examples

• 他为人冷漠，总是拒人千里。

  tā wéirén lěngmò, zǒng shì jù rén qiānlǐ

  He is indifferent to others, always keeping people at arm's length.

• 这个项目负责人态度傲慢，拒人千里，导致团队合作不畅。

  zhège xiàngmù fùzé rén tàidu àomàn, jù rén qiānlǐ, dǎozhì tuánduī hézuò bù chàng

  The project manager is arrogant and keeps people at a distance, leading to poor teamwork.

Related Idioms

• 疏远

• 冷漠

Opposite Idioms

• 热情

• 友好