先礼后兵 First courtesy, then force
Explanation
这个成语的意思是先用礼仪和善意的方法去解决问题，如果不行，再采取强硬的手段。它强调了在处理事情时，应该先尝试和平友好的方式，只有在必要的时候才使用武力或其他强硬措施。
This idiom means to first use polite and kind methods to solve problems, and only then to resort to harsh measures if necessary. It emphasizes the importance of first trying peaceful and friendly methods when handling matters, using force or other harsh measures only when necessary.
Origin Story
东汉末年，群雄逐鹿，曹操率军攻打徐州，徐州太守陶谦抵挡不住，向刘备求援。刘备率领关羽、张飞等将士，前往救援。陶谦想把徐州让给刘备，刘备却深知曹操的厉害，决定先礼后兵。他先派使者给曹操送信，说明自己只是为了帮助陶谦，并无其他野心，希望曹操能够撤兵。曹操收到信后，本来想杀掉使者，但谋士郭嘉劝他三思，并指出吕布正伺机攻打兖州，此刻不宜与刘备交恶。曹操权衡利弊后，同意了刘备的请求，暂时撤兵。虽然曹操表面上退兵了，但实际上暗中观察刘备的动向，为日后攻打徐州做准备。刘备的先礼后兵策略，在短时间内化解了与曹操的直接冲突，为徐州争取了宝贵的休整时间。但历史的长河奔流不息，最终还是免不了兵戎相见。这个故事展现了在复杂的政治斗争中，如何运用策略，以达到自己的目标。有时，先礼后兵的策略，能够在关键时刻，扭转乾坤。
At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, warlords competed for power. Cao Cao led his army to attack Xu Zhou, but the governor of Xu Zhou, Tao Qian, could not resist and asked Liu Bei for help. Liu Bei led Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and other soldiers to the rescue. Tao Qian wanted to cede Xu Zhou to Liu Bei, but Liu Bei knew of Cao Cao's strength and decided to be polite first and then use force. He first sent an envoy to send a letter to Cao Cao, stating that he was only helping Tao Qian and had no other ambitions, and hoped that Cao Cao would withdraw his troops. After Cao Cao received the letter, he originally wanted to kill the envoy, but the strategist Guo Jia advised him to reconsider, pointing out that Lü Bu was seizing the opportunity to attack Yan Zhou, and it was therefore not advisable to fall out with Liu Bei. After Cao Cao weighed the pros and cons, he agreed to Liu Bei's request and temporarily withdrew his troops. Although Cao Cao superficially withdrew his troops, he secretly observed Liu Bei's movements, preparing to attack Xu Zhou later. Liu Bei's strategy of being polite first and then using force temporarily prevented a direct conflict with Cao Cao and bought Xu Zhou valuable time to rest. But the river of history flowed endlessly, and eventually war broke out. This story shows how to use strategy in complex political struggles to achieve one's goals. Sometimes, the strategy of being polite first and then using force can turn the tide in critical moments.
Usage
常用于形容处理事情的方式，先友好协商，如果无效再采取强硬手段。
Often used to describe the way of handling things: First, friendly negotiations are attempted, and if these fail, tougher measures are taken.
Examples
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与人交涉，应先礼后兵，不可操之过急。
yu ren jiaoshe,ying xian li hou bing,bu ke cao zhi guo ji
When dealing with people, one should first be polite and then use force only as a last resort.
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处理国际关系，应先礼后兵，避免冲突。
chuli guoji guanxi,ying xian li hou bing,bimian chongtu
In dealing with international relations, one should first resort to diplomacy and avoid conflict.